Hannah-Belle Lee

You know what?

just because i’m treated with disrespect doesn’t mean i have to give it back. I don’t have to let other people stop me from being the person I am, and the person I am values other people.

Anyone know anything about ECT treatment? Yeah thats right.

I went out with my friend from workk,

& we got dresses,

& we’re going to wear them tomorrow when we WORK on memorial day! 1.5 times my salary!

Despite the fact that none of my friends from high school had the courtesy to say “hi, i’m back from college, how are you?” i’ve still managed to keep myself occupied. Although it would be nice to hear “hi, we were best friends a year ago and i still remember you and respect you enough to talk to you.” Not only nice, but just something i would EXPECT out of someone who i was good friends with.

But you can’t expect anything from anyone, because nobody cares about anyone except themselves!

But whatever, I have my half smile and I’m about to make a therapy video. And then I guess I’ll rewatch community. Season 1 with senior chang<3

soyeahfuckyouidontneedyou

http://dbtherapy.webs.com/

can we do this againn

I’m going to put all my energy into being evil.

Shy and timid hannah is getting nowhere. i can either focus my energy into hurting myself, or hurting other people. There are so many people that I hate, and I want them all to get what they deserve. vengeance.

Everyone who hurt me

I’ll remember you. and i won’t remember much else.

I’ll pray that one day you get a hate vibe so strong that it will paralyze you and you wont know what to do.

I’ll pray that you end up alone and miserable and someone will do to you what you did to me and you’ll see exactly how it feels.

and your guilt can just eat you alive cause i wont be around to do anything about it.

Someone told me to kill myself

I’m useless and incompetent and a total and complete waste and i shouldn’t be alive.

So then i went out with my friend and felt better for a few hours, until i found out that you are alive and well and the only reason you’re not talking to me is because i’m useless and incompetent and a total and complete waste of spacebecause hey, you have no problem talking to anyone else.

This has to happen, and everyone is only driving me further to it. I can read the signs that you’re urging me and DARING me to hurt myself. How disrespectful can a person be.

who the fuck are you

what was so obscene about that that you thought you had the right to send it to my father. nothing about hurting myself, nothing about being suicidal, just absolutely uncomfortable feelings that i can’t let out in therapy because they all hate me, can’t let out to friends because i have none, and now can’t post on a blog because some kid has been leaking what i write to my dad. REALLY? WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? 1. You don’t know my dad. Just because you creepily obtained his email doesn’t make you buddybuddy with him, NOR does it mean you understand the level he takes things, NOR does it mean you understand what he does to me, and over what? I was upset and ranted on my blog, as milloins do. Wrote absolutely nothing about high risk or threatening behavior. If I had written that i want to kill myself, which i shouldn’t do, then absofuckinglutely go email my whole family. But i didn’t. Im so frustrated with everything that im absolutely paralyzed, and i now realize the whole world is against me all at once.

The weather’s so lovely and the whole day’s ahead of me. I am absolutely alone, I don’t know who  to call a friend, and everyone has changed. Reaching out to no one is hard, because I have to speak with someone when I feel this way, but reaching out is no longer an option, and for the first time i might be willing to go years without contact just to prove what a shit friend you are. i’m quitting my job at sears tomorrow and im terrified, and i still have to work from 10-6 with people hating on me from every which way, and i can’t walk into any room anymore without people being angry or showing their intense dislike for me and its weakening me to the point where i want to stay home and hide, but everyone yells all the time in my house and my fucking sister is always just a;lsdkjfa;lsfj and there’s really nowhere i want to be.

I want to die, I really do.

I don’t know what I was expecting.

Guess what hannah? everyone hates you, and now you have nobody.